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About The Band
Cockfight Abortion Baby Gladiators is a British rock (also alternative rock, punk rock, grunge rock, death metal, alternative, pop, psychedelic rock, baroque pop, death metal, indie rock, synthpop, electronic and dance) band from Paris, Denmark. The band currently includes the original member Croquilla Bronson (lead guitar and vocals), Charli XCX (everything) and Jesus Christ (faith). The former members are Morgan Freeman (free-spoken vocals, theremin and triangle), Benedict Cumberbatch (pure telepathic acoustics of intense eye contact), Lindsay Lohan (piercings and saxophone), Danny DeVito (mojo), Moon Unit Zappa (violin, piano and valley-girl background vocals) and Dr. Seuss (composition and hallucinogenics). Formation and Early Years Cockfight Abortion Baby Gladiators was formed in 2019 in Paris, Denmark, after Croquilla Bronson sent a video of herself covering Nirvana's song 'Dumb' to her slave Klisma Crepeb, who immediately became her manager and still is to this day. Together, Bronson and Crepeb formed "New World Order", with the name "Foreskin Removal Dwarves" as a back-up plan name. After a night of consumption of many hallucinogenic drugs and much salmon tartare, the two changed the name to the current "Cockfight Abortion Baby Gladiators". Within a week of its formation, Cockfight Abortion Baby Gladiators was made up of 11 members: Croquilla Bronson, Morgan Freeman, Joey Shithead, Benedict Cumberbatch, Lindsay Lohan, Ed Ball, Danny DeVito, Moon Unit Zappa, Jesus Christ, Dr. Seuss and Charli XCX. These members, along with manager Klisma Crepeb, made up almost the entire population of Paris, Denmark (12). All members and manager lived on the same street, which made it possible to have frequent writing and jam sessions. Within three weeks of formation, the band had already written, composed and produced 3 extended plays and 8 albums. All members, except Bronson, Christ , XCX and manager Crepeb were killed by a fatal meteor crash on the 3rd of February 2019 during a vacation to Miass, Russia, intended for songwriting and recording for their 9th album, which would have been called "Trash TV Sadomasochism", of which the first drafts and recordings were scrapped and replaced with another officially released 9th album ("Cornelius, God of The Concept of the Carpet"). The tragic death of the 6 members brought on a 3 month long hiatus during which no content was produced. However, Cockfight Abortion Baby Gladiators made a comeback with the surprise release of their 10th studio album "Rejected Homophobic Auditions for the Role of Tony Montana" on the 10th of May. The album contained 16 songs, 15 of which were promotional singles which climbed up the charts, taking up the top 15 spots, within two days of release. This explosive comeback attracted many new fans - Bronson, XCX and Christ saw their fanbase grow massively and immediately. The widespread demand convinced the band to plan their first tour, the Dementia Strikes Again tour, of which the first date is set to happen on the 7st of June in Ogre, Latvia (this decision has been speculated to be caused by the lead singer's love for beetroot soup or Borscht and Shrek). Trivia * During the first week of jam sessions, the band consumed a total weight of 15 tons of snails, alongside 20 packets of LSD. Bronson claims she saw God; Jesus Christ told her to "back off, dude, that's private and stuff". * Jesus Christ often surfs and has a pronounced surfer dude accent. He surfs on a crucifix board. * The band drew inspiration for their final name from death metal bands such as Dying Fetus, Cattle Decapitation and Pig Destroyer.